Essay on Deborah Tannen - 785 Words

In Deborah Tannen’s essay â€Å"I’ll Explain It to You: Lecturing and Listening†, she asserts the belief that even though men and women speak the same structural language, their motivations for speech and conversational patterns are very different. In the earlier years of development, Tannen observes that girls use speech to find confirmation and establish intimacy, whereas boys use speech to assert their independence and attain social status. After transitioning to adulthood, women find themselves bored and constantly nodding as men lecture them. Tannen provides specific observations of gender communication that portrays women as passive reactors in a conversation and men as the dominant aggressors. For example, Tannen writes that men tend to†¦show more content†¦He laughed at the obvious icebreaker. I introduced myself and we ended up talking for a good portion of the night. The conversation was not completely focused on either one of us. Contrary to T annen’s views, I was first to introduce myself and make sure the focus of the conversation did not shift solely to one person. When holding a conversation, it would help to be educated on the topic in order to make it more intellectually stimulating. If one is educated, one can respond thoughtfully to the topic, and can therefore engage in, and sometimes lead, the discussion. Tannen, however, suggests that expertise does not guarantee women center stage in discussion. She noted that if women were experts on the topic, they were quick to hide it and in doing so, the non-expert male became the dominant force in the discussion. When I have expertise knowledge on a subject, I tend to draw upon it as much as possible. I was once involved in a heated debate regarding abortion and I was arguing pro-life. My male opponent said that abortion is necessary because there are numerous many cases of rape and incest, and because of the circumstances, abortion must be an option. Since I had expertise knowledge on the subject, I was able to inform him that less than two percent of all abortions are due to both rape and incest and that the numbers were clearly over exaggerated in order to gain empathy. As the debate persisted, it was clear that I had theShow MoreRelatedWhat Do You Mean By Deborah Tannen1450 Words   |  6 Pagesindividuals (Tannen 327). There are thousands of diverse languages to speak to one another with, in fact that means there are thousands of different ways to offend each other with our words. Within those languages there are several contrasting gestures that can offend any single person, such as the amount of times individuals apologize in one meeting, giving criticism too harshly, or thanking someone so often it does not seem genuine. In the article â€Å"What Do You Mean,† Deborah Tannen touches uponRead MoreDeborah Tannen s Article, But What Do You Mean?955 Words   |  4 PagesWhat I Meant was†¦ In Deborah Tannen’s article, â€Å"But What Do You Mean?† she enumerates seven different ways that women and men tend to have a kind of struggle. Tannen discusses how the men and women have different ways of speaking. The seven main differences are classified and divided into: apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. First, men don’t correctly interpret apologies; they often implicate blame with apology, synonymous with putting oneself down. On theRead MoreAnalysis of You Just Dont Understand, Men and Women in Conversation by Deborah Tannen1283 Words   |  6 PagesAnalysis of You Just Dont Understand, Men and Women in Conversation by Deborah Tannen In the first chapter of her book, You Just Dont Understand, Men and Women in Conversation, Deborah Tannen quotes, ...studies have shown that married couples that live together spend less than half an hour a week talking to each other.... (24) This book is a wonderful tool for couples to use for help in understanding each other. The two things it stresses most is to listen, and to make yourself heardRead MoreDifferences Between Men And Women1393 Words   |  6 Pagesdifferences in communication style, whether in a formal or informal setting. Linguistic style, as defined by Deborah Tannen, refers to a person’s characteristic speaking pattern. Men tend to be more direct and dominating, whereas, women exhibit a more practical and indirect approach. Although these conclusions are generalizations, research has proven that they are typical of the ordinary man and woman (Tannen, 1995). Criticism Criticism is a major issue that is unavoidable, but handled very differently byRead MoreThe Negative Culture In Deborah Tannens The Argument Culture830 Words   |  4 Pagesthis case, why do we as a whole, use words to damage and bring ruin upon our civilization that we so pride ourselves in? The notorious act of arguing seems to be the downfall of man in the most prevailing of ways, which is captured delicately in Deborah Tannen’s novel The Argument Culture. The Argument Culture directly divulges into the mysteries behind America’s second favorite pass time, an argument. An argument is an oral disagreement, or verbal opposition, and this common poison resides withinRead MoreRhetorical Analysis on Deborah Tannens Argument Culture1247 Words   |  5 PagesA Move towards Better Communication Deborah Tannen graduated from The University of California, Berkely, M.A. in 1979 with her PHD in Linguistics. She is a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University. Tannen has written many books where she applies her theory of Linguistics to everyday situations. Some of her books are: That’s Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationship (1986), Talking from 9 to 5: How Women’s and Men’s ConversationalRead MoreRhetorical Analysis : Deborah Tannen906 Words   |  4 PagesRhetorical Analysis Deborah Tannen is a professor in linguistics at Georgetown University. She studies the different patterns of language, like talking to people at work, friends, family, politics, academics, law, and how the ways we talk affect relationships with others. In her essay, â€Å"Oh, Mom. Oh, Honey. : Why Do You Have to Say That? † The author’s purpose in this essay is about how mother and daughter relationships are, and what the mother is trying to say to the daughter, when talkingRead MoreIs Google Really Making Us Stupid? Essay2355 Words   |  10 PagesIn a lecture hall, a professor stands in front of a classroom full of students as he waits for an answer to his question. A student raises his hand and answers â€Å"no,† but he is unable to explain his conclusion. In Deborah Tannen’s article â€Å"The Roots of Debate in Education and the Hope of Dialogue,† she talks about how we should not just focus on stating that other people’s points ar e wrong and that the only way to seem original or creative is to prove other people’s points are wrong. This topic isRead MoreHow Does Gender Play A Critical Role?1308 Words   |  6 Pagesresponsible for the genderlect, but the social norms and cultural backgrounds. These factors further differentiate conversations between men and women. Deborah Tannen, professor of linguistics at Georgetown University has written extensively on genderlect in her national best selling book, â€Å"You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation.† In her book (Tannen, 1990), she explores in depth about different conversational styles of men and women with relatable examples. She also suggests some steps thatRead MoreThe Conversation Between Men And Women2355 Words   |  10 Pagesâ€Å"Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers† by Deborah Tannen, you will begin to see and discover the differences in conversation between men and women. Discussed throughout this paper are the importance of metamessages, an overview of Tannen’s article, whether Tannen is fair in her article toward both men and women and whether I agree with Tannen’s article as well as experiences of my peer’s and myself. Part 1: Metamessages Deborah Tannen defines metamessages as a way you want to be understood